MY FIRST DIVINE LOVE
The liberator and the revolutionary share the same face! This is a
personal note. It was the period when I was alive in the student
activism of the socialist movement. My house was a shelter to hide
for Thoppil Bhasi (famous writer) and M N Govindan Nair (minister of
kerala), while they were underground. This
might be the reason why I was freed from the concept of God without
feeling any anxiety or vexation. A lover stepped into my adolescent
mind where the strands of love and revolution were strung. He was
Jesus. It was a love with the halo of divinity. Thus I lived for a
long time as the lover of Jesus.
The next phase I experienced was a most severe period of reading. I
walked long distances along with Che Guevara through the Bolivian war
fields. I sat leaning against his body in the hot midday under the
shade of cactuses. The charming face of Che stood bright in my bones,
marrow, and consciousness, and in the red flowers of cactuses.
The night sky was full of stars when I returned home after watching
the May Day rally. Che Guevara, the huffy symbol of zealous youth,
flared in each cell of my consciousness. I could never forget that
night in which Che Guevara traversed from my soul to my body as though
in a dream.
As I was the lover of Jesus, the liberator, and Che Guevara, the
revolutionary, I felt no affection to any of the men who followed me
after that saying that they were in love with me. In 1997? one of my
friends, Mr. C. Gopinath Kadambanad, called me and said, “My sweety,
there is news in today’s newspaper. They have published a photo
proving that your lover was caught and slaughtered years back by the
C.I.A. There is no palm on the dead body. They had cut it away.” While
I was weeping, my friend added, “I read in the paper that the nurse
who care for him in his last moments has stated that she felt the face
of Che Guevara was that of Jesus at his moment of death.”
Yes, the liberator and revolutionary have same face!